I stood there for a minute and walked through it in my head quickly. I called my friend Laura and asked her to come and meet me so I could borrow her car. I told her to have Frank follow her up so she can get back. I then called AAA to get a tow truck set up and called to let my appointment know I would be late. I also had to call the service station to let them know the truck would be on it’s way to them. All of that, and switched all of my stuff into another car and I was only ten minutes late. I made sure I was effective with my phone calls, did them in the order that I needed to and was quick enough that I didn’t waste a lot of time. I had a choice that day to be quick and effective or to hurry and maybe mess things up by not paying attention to detail.
As an athlete, it’s easy to relate to the idea of “be quick but don’t hurry.” If you rush something, you often do it wrong or you make an error, or turn the ball over. It’s even possible to think about the big offensive linemen on a football team who are very quick, but may not necessarily have a ton of speed. Quickness isn’t always about movement. In “real life” being quick is sometimes being efficient and completely sound with time so as not to waste a second. There is something to be said about that kind of “quickness”… Being efficient and effective. I saw this in action today at softball summer camp. We had 40 kids this week at the URA fields and it was probably one of the best camps we have ever been a part of. The energy was awesome. The girls were all about learning and wanting to do it right.
They were a blast! We did crazy mismatch outfit today for the Softball Olympics and had way too much fun! I cringe trying to call this work. It’s really not. br />
It was exciting to watch. What really blew me away was the energy and the desire that the youngest of the campers had. The second fastest camper was 8 years old. She was quick, but she didn’t do things in a rush. I can’t wait to see where she ends up 10 years from now. She has a skill that is often not found in young athletes. She is one of the quickest young athletes I have seen in quite some time, but at the same time was completely poised and effective.
There are so many times in my life when I have thought about what it would mean for me to maybe just slow down… take some time to do things more carefully. Not waste time, but not rush anything. Life is a well-paced event. Not too fast, not too slow. And I have found a pace that works for me. I have learned to be quick, but not hurry.
So, about the interview. I got the job. And about my effectiveness? I had a softball doubleheader that night I had to get to right after the interview, so I wore my sliding shorts under my dress pants so I could change in the car before I got back down there. I guess you could say I love this game.

I have read that before. A few times. In a conversation today, I was reminded of it again. Amazing how that happens. Timing is everything. Change is good. I am doing a front row check.

I was driving home tonight from South Jersey after visiting a client. It was almost ten. I was on the phone, then took a minute to randomly check what song was on my iPod. I turned up the volume. Right then, The very haunting first track on one of the Shinedown albums came on. It’s a poem written by one of the bandmembers and recited by his daughter. It’s called The Dream. The ending of it goes like this:
“I hope that you’re still searching for the start that has no end
And all the plastic people have now become your friends
Before you start to drift and your soul begins to scream
I just wanted to tell you that you’re listening to a dream”

I sat and took it in. I got a chill up my spine. I LOVE when I have moments connect like that. There is so much you can take from those lines… And as an English major in college, my Senior Seminar was an advanced poetry class that you had to apply and be accepted into. MOST times I get it, and other times I don’t. And either way, poetry is allowed to be interpreted. People are allowed to have viewpoints. They are also allowed to be wrong.
Sometimes, we don’t even realize who we are surrounding ourselves with until we stop to realize that these are not the same people we had set out to find. The start that has no end, choosing the right people to be your friends… it’s all more and more clear for me…Why I was reminded of these two things today.
The most ironic part is the line just before these…
He writes: Innocence and ignorance, it all goes hand in hand.
I’m not sure that I’m right, but I hope you’ll understand.

Wow. I’m not always sure I am right either, but I continue on anyway.
We show up, we watch, we listen, we give our input, and we go home. We buy the front row seat to someone else’s show. And we GIVE AWAY the tickets to our own.
Sometimes, just maybe, we should raise our own price. We should build a velvet rope around our stand-by line. We should create a VIP list. We should say NO, sorry, but those seats are reserved. The only option is the balcony. We should arrange them the way WE want them, after all, it’s our theather.
It’s our show.
It’s our life.
The ones who sit the closest get to see your imperfections, get spit on by accident, but sometimes get to hear you the clearest. They are the only ones who can touch you that easily.
Tell me, are they the right ones?
Did they earn that right? Did they pay the price?
Or did you give it away for free?
Pay attention. Choose wisely.
Give and take. Evenly.
Be front-row worthy.
And keep searching for the right people to keep close.
Keep searching for the start that has no end.
And then tell me… when you are brave and ready.
Who’s in YOUR front row?

My mom has been battling a very progressive neurological disorder called Cortico Basal Degeneration for the better part of 8-10 years now and has been declining quite steadily lately. She can’t communicate very well, can’t bathe herself, get to the bathroom alone, or even walk. She needs someone to feed her, to move her, to pretty much do everything for her now. It’s been a long and very emotional road for our family. Monday turned out to be another bump in that road and a reminder of what it is to love unconditionally, and more importantly… Simply.

I sat one of the afternoons in the hospital, reading to her. I sent my Dad home for a nap and my sisters had to go pick up the kids from school. I took a walk downstairs to the gift shop to find a book to read. I came across some kind of inspirational book with short stories. I bought it and went back upstairs. When I went in, mom was in and out of sleep, dozing on and off. When she opened her eyes and looked at me, I asked her if she wanted me to read to her. She got excited and said yes. I pulled a chair up next to the bed and started to read, one hand on her hand, and the other to turn pages of the book in my lap. I read to her for the better part of an hour. We laughed at some of the names in the book as well as at each other. Just to laugh.

It was a wonderful time that I won’t soon forget. It was simple. It was pure. I was lost for an hour just being. I hadn’t done that in a long time, and it felt great.

We sat in silence for some of the time, too, as if we just wanted to sit together. Not having to fill the silence with sound, or discussion, or my reading.

I realized sitting there with mom, that we didn’t have to talk, or do anything for it to be something special. It was ok to sit in silence and just hold her hand. I felt content. I think that maybe she did too.

I have been spending a lot of time with different teams lately. I have watched success continue to unfold. The Unionville LAX team is about to play their district playoff game tomorrow and are rolling along pretty well. I was at a game the other night and got to watch Julie Moran score her hundredth goal. Awesome milestone, awesome memory she will take with her from her HS years on the field.

Earlier that same day, Fordham’s pitcher Jen Mineau happened to throw a perfect game in the Conference Tournament. I doubt she will ever forget that moment on the mound. They just made it to Regionals for the first time in school history. Tomorrow, Nazareth Academy Softball plays for their league championship. There is no question they will be about to play in some of the biggest games of their lives so far… Districts then States if things go according to plan.

Each of these teams is riding the train instead of the roller coaster. They are not letting the highs get too high nor the lows get too low, they are not rushing through it, allowing the amazing memories they are making along the way to slip by. They are taking it one game at a time, slowly, surely. Winning every second of the process.

Two Mondays ago, life changed for everyone… Just as it does every day. But that day, I watched as others around me dealt with tragedy. I paid attention to how I felt inside driving up to see my mom, not knowing what to expect when I got there. Luckily for my family, she got to go home a week later. I watch these teams at pivotal points in their own journies make conscious efforts to stay present, to take it slow, to just be. Lately, I have seen highs, and I have experienced lows. I teach the same.

I know that if we just slow down, if we really pay attention to what’s going on around us, we won’t miss a thing. We will have the ability to look back later and remember every feeling, every moment, every victory, no matter how large or small. But only if we take it slow…
I picked up that book to read the rest tonight before bed. It will always remind me of the time mom and I laughed at nothing, enjoying each other’s company even sitting in a hospital room together, staring in the same direction.
And I understand now what it means…
No regrets.

See, most people take the easy way out. Me included. So often, it is easier to just do what everyone else is doing. To say nothing, to sit idly by and cheer from the stands. It’s easier to not admit you are human. It’s easier to not show your vulnerability. It’s easier to sit, stagnant, and wait for something to come along to make you have to change direction. It’s easier to just be. And whatever happens, will happen. I, too, have heard myself say that often. And we leave things up to chance. We think fate hands us whatever we get. And while sometimes we aren’t in control of what happens to us, we are ALWAYS in control of how we react to it.  Sometimes, we take the road with all the traffic, where everyone else is stuck to. And we curse the fact that we aren’t moving anywhere, that there are too many cars on this road. And it was our choice.
Other times, we would rather be on the dirt path that no one else knows exists, just so that we can keep moving. We take the road less traveled. We explore, we find new ways. We blaze a trail. We become better people.

I watched my (and yes, when I invest myself into a team, they become mine too ) UHS LAX girls play a tough game last night. I watched the emotion after the game.  I watched them all make choices. We talked today about how this is a pivotal and critical choice, a defining moment as an athlete. This is when they decide to pick themselves up and fight again or they can lay there defeated. Still. No movement… easy way out. Stuck in traffic with everyone else. Or we take the road less traveled. I know what they are going to do. I am excited to see them blaze a trail. They have all the tools they need to become better players.

When I was in college at the University of Delaware, my “senior seminar” class  was with one of my all time favorite professors. You had to apply to get in, and had to write a thesis at the end of the semester and present/teach a class in order to graduate. As an English major with a concentration in journalism, I LOVED creative writing. Poetry was my favorite. When I saw my favorite professor was the moderator for the class, I quickly applied. I submitted some of my work and the essays needed to show you could understand the writings of some of the greatest poets of all time.  We spent a lot of time in that class talking about some of my favorites. My thesis was a comparison and contrast of a Dylan Thomas work and an Emily Dickinson piece. He told me no one had done the two I chose before. I liked that. No one had gone before me. I got to blaze the trail. And while it was hard and there was no one to help me, I got to set the standard. There was no one who could have been better than me up until then. Kind of a great spot to be in if you ask me.
We spent the whole few weeks prior talking about Frost and allof his more obscure poems. Then, we got to this one. “The Road Not Taken.” I don’t think there are many people in my world at least who have not heard it. The funny thing is, since all 11 of us in the class had read it a thousand times and certainly seen it in prior English and poetry clases, we figured it would be a quick discussion and we would move on. We were wrong. There was nothing quick about Gibbons Ruark. He was a man of his own tempo. He walked into each poetry class and stood in front of the room until it got quiet. He would then recite a random poem. So beautifully every time. I lived for the beginning of class. To hear his awesome voice, his scruffy and sometimes unkempt self. He was poetry. He didn’t care what people thought or who may have snickered when he walked by. He was Dr. Ruark, and anyone who knew him, loved him.
Our discussion lasted for 2 different 2 and a half- hour classes. On that one poem. The one we all thought we knew and understood. He made us see other things. He gave us a choice to see what everyone else saw, or to take another look at it. A deeper look. A road less traveled.
I think what Dr. Ruark and even Robert Frost wanted us to learn was that no matter good or bad, every choice will make a difference in your life. You most likely will miss out if you choose one over the other, but “as way leads onto way” we move on, and we can’t focus on the things we didn’t do… the paths we didnt go down. He showed us in that class that sometimes, things aren’t always what you think.
“I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.” –Robert Frost

And so it is. We choose how we react. We choose our path. We choose what we can control. And the rest we let go.
We can’t worry about the paths we don’t take. We can only focus on the ones we do. We can be true to who we are and we can honor our own humanity by acknowledging our mistakes and imperfections. There is beauty in that. And in that beauty, we become better people.
There is strength in taking the road less traveled. Join me.

I believe that every team has a hero. It’s not one person… it’s many. And…sometimes a hero isn’t even a person at all. It’s s a feeling. It’s a moment. It’s when a bond can’t be broken. It’s an unspoken look, it’s an electricity that sometimes has no words. It’s trusting that no matter what, you can’t fail because it’s not just about you anymore. A hero isn’t an isolated incident, it’s not scoring the winning goal or hitting the winning homerun. It’s the quiet moments, the ones that may not count in the scorebook. It’s being the person to step aside sometimes and letting someone else get the spotlight. There is a lacrosse team out there playing hero…. I am glad to have been in the room with them. Today, my hero is you. And you had no idea…

I drove back to my facility and on my way was listening to my iPod. Unmistakenly, as my life has its way of giving me signs that sometimes I couldn’t miss no matter what, the song Hero, by Mariah Carey came on. I have loved that song since it first came out, often referring to it as one of my all time favorites.  I know, I am dating myself… but it’s a song that had a lot of meaning in my earlier life and, to this day, creates feelings of being the right person for others. Sometimes we are the hero. Sometimes, we surround ourselves with them so we can let another light shine.

On my way up the road, I was slowed by a lot of traffic. Having a moment of “Ugh, not traffic again” since I was stuck in some on my way there earlier, I had a flash of annoyance come over me. Then all of a sudden it hit me. I realized what the traffic was. I had read earlier that there would be a lot of traffic in the area due to an historical event going on here in Coatesville. Just then I was flagged by police to turn down a side road to take a detour. I was up on a hill and could oversee the entrance to Lukens Steel. I quickly pulled over and got out of my car, almost like I was having an out of body experience. I was standing on the side of the road with a handful of other onlookers before I knew it, and watched as the last of the 28 truck convoy drove slowly into the entrance. They were carrying a load of steel girders on each truck. 500 tons in all. But this wasn’t any steel… most days, trucks carrying steel would not stop traffic and bring people out to watch. This steel happened to be the frame that was built 40 years ago at this same plant it was coming home to. And the frame was from the first nine floors of the World Trade Center buildings. And as I stood and watched, American flags draping the trucks, ladder trucks spanning the road with a flag the convoy rode under, I couldn’t help but think of the hundreds of lives lost on that one gut-wrenching day. As I have written about before, the close ties to both my family and friends affected by the tragedy will be forever ingrained in my mind and on my heart. I know we will never be the same. But it’s because of the many heroes who gave of themselves, that so many people survived. I was lucky to not lose my sister that day. And as I watched that last truck drive under the American flag, I had tears in my eyes knowing that those pieces of steel represented a whole list of people who played hero that day. And I thanked them. Today, my hero is you. And you have never even met me.

I was in the Turkey Hill tonight, picking up some milk on my way home. There was a man and his son standing by the ice cream. When I turned the corner, I saw a little girl standing next to the boy holding his hand. She was probably about 4 and he was no more than 7 or 8.  While dad was picking out his flavor, the boy looked down at his sister and asked her what kind of ice cream she wanted. She pointed. The boy reached in and got it out of the freezer, holding onto her hand the whole time. Just then, the doll she was holding by the hair fell out of her hand and into the freezer. She started to cry at the thought of her doll freezing to death, so the boy quickly reached down in and grabbed it before it could get as much as a slight chill. He turned to her and in that moment, the most beautiful expression on a little boy’s face I have ever seen caught my eye. “Miss Lizzy is ok Jess. I saved her.”  And right then, the flavor of ice cream didn’t much matter. Jess had a hero holding her hand. Today, my hero is you. A 7 year-old little boy who didn’t even know I was there.

So, about those lacrosse girls? They won tonight. I sat in the bleachers watching a team who knows how to be a team. And after the game, I made my way across the field to give some high fives. Instead, I got a huge group hug. In that moment I remembered, again, why I do what I do. Or more importantly, why I LOVE to do what I do.  The excitement, the chemistry, the feeling of a team. It’s all MY hero. The couple seconds as I was walking toward them, and they were running to hug me… ALL OF THEM… Little did they know the impact. They thanked me for coming to cheer them on and for the time we spent yesterday together. But little did they know…

Today, my hero is you.

These are every day occurences, whether we notice them or not. Choices begin with getting out of bed, and move on to what we wear, to if we eat breakfast and end with what time we go to bed and whether we sleep on our back or stomach or side… We make them every day. Some completely inconsequential. Others… life-changing.  We choose to stand up for what we believe in… or we crumble under the pressure of those who don’t stand at all. We choose to be real and speak true, and be strong in the face of weakness. It is our choice that matters. It is our heart that leads us.

I was faced with a moment in middle school that seemed quite insignificant at the time, but later in life proved to be just the beginning of my sometimes too outspoken-self.  There was a new girl that year,  7th grade… we will call her “Cass.” Cass transferred in from another school and didn’t know anyone. Kids being usual bullying kids picked on her because she was new. I am sure she was not happy with the choice her parents made for her that first day in a new school. At one point, in 5th period, I remember she left the room crying. I immediately stood up and asked the teacher if I could go make sure she was ok. I don’t know why, but my heart felt like it was the right thing to do. I walked out of the room before I even got an answer. She was sitting alone, in the stairwell sobbing. I sat next to her and put my arm around her shoulder. I didn’t say a word. Just wanted to let her know someone was there.  I made a choice. I went back in the classroom and told the two boys who were picking on her to knock it off. Probably the first time I stood up to someone like that in front of others.

And even if I stood alone, I would do it the same everytime. I learned a long time ago what integrity was. One of my favorite quotes is by Oprah… “Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.” Integrity is who you are behind closed doors, when you don’t get the credit and the spotlight isn’t on. Integrity is what you say when no one is there to hear it and back you up. Integrity is doing the right thing… no matter what. Integrity is believing in your heart what is right… and following through with action. Integrity needs no introduction, or explanation. It just is. And when you let your heart lead, you get to the center of what that is. 

I know some people think that if you don’t do what your mind tells you to do, you are not acting rationally. I say that’s an excuse for not wanting to get hurt. I ask those same people to think of some of the greatest leaders throughout history… Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, Princess Diana, Mother Teresa, Bono… I am sure there are not many people you can find who don’t know these names. And why… Why do we list the same kinds of people every time we talk about great leaders and great people…? They have integrity. They have led with their heart. And people followed.

Every day, we make choices. Some completely inconsequential. Others… life-changing.
Regardless of impact or outcome, do what real leaders do…

Go with your heart…always.

When they all fly together, they get it. They create something so impressive with their flight pattern, it makes me stop to watch every time.
The front bird in the “V” leads the way. It works hard, cutting the wind and making it easier on the rest of the flock. As a leader, sometimes you need to be out in front, working harder than everyone else, leading the way and taking the brunt of the wind. Then, when that front bird gets tired, it slips back and someone else takes the lead. And if any of the birds get tired or injured, they descend to the ground and another bird ALWAYS goes with them. They never go alone. They never leave their “wingman.” They stay on the ground until that bird can fly again, and they go back up and join another flock. They adapt. They always work together… and they know how to utilize each other. Birds who fly in a V formation will fly 70% farther and faster than they could ever go alone. See, as a good leader, you learn how to not only lead out in front, but you learn how to lead from the flock.

Yesterday, we hosted a field trip at ETC for the Girls Leadership program from the West Chester area school district. 42 middle school girls were visiting us for the morning and we played some games, talked about goals and what it takes to be a good leader, and capped it off with a pizza lunch. I heard some really amazing stories, some girls who really touched me and some who really just want to make something of their lives. It warmed my heart. But the most humbling part was when two of the girls presented me with a gift at the end of the morning in front of the group. They handed me a small box and a card as a token of their thanks for the time I had spent with them. I had spoken at their school a couple months ago, and also took some time out to head out to Radnor Middle School to kick off the Girls Leadership Conference as a guest speaker, and the first one of the day. I spoke there about geese… and how we all need help flapping our wings sometimes. How they just get it… this leadership thing.
When I opened that box, I felt a tear quickly fill my eye. In it was a handcrafted pewter Canadian Goose pin… made in Canada. It was bought at the Olympics by the director of the program. It was used as a symbol there of the games. I was completely surprised and humbled. The two young girls looked at me and thanked me for teaching them what leadership is and being a strong role model for them. They thanked me for being an inspiration and a mentor in their lives. It was a moment I won’t soon forget.

Then today, at our game… I was coaching first. Off in the distance I saw the biggest flock of geese I think I have ever seen in the sky. It was an amazing sight. And as it came closer, it flew over the field, almost as a reminder of what kind of team I am blessed to coach. 
And so I realized yesterday, and today… that the girls that I have worked with who have thanked me, on the field and off, at ETC and elsewhere… are the real leaders. They are the ones that I am watching develop their wings and fly. I enjoy leading from the flock. And when I need to take the brunt of the wind, I have no problem doing so if it makes them fly easier. This is my passion, helping build stronger wings. 
So next time you see a V in the sky, take a second to marvel at the beauty…
We should all watch birds… they get it.